Veritaserum
by mercurywrites
Summary: The Marauders play a prank on Snape - however, not everyone finds it funny.


_**This oneshot is based off of an event mentioned in Chapter 83 of my series of drabbles, Snapshots. It's also the first thing I've ever written from James's point of view, so let me know how I do!**_

* * *

><p>The boys and I have devised and executed some brilliant pranks in the past, if I do say so myself – however, this prank will be the one to beat. After learning about Veritaserum, the truthfulness potion, in class last week, Sirius nicked some ingredients from ol' Sluggy's private stores, and for the past week we've spent all our free time holed up in the passageway behind the statue of Sir Willoughby working on a batch of the stuff. Well, Sirius, Remus, and I have been working; we try to keep Peter away from anything with the potential to explode.<p>

It's two in the morning, and the four of us are grinning madly, half delusional from lack of sleep, as Moony lowers a vial into the cauldron and ladles out a measure of the clear, odourless liquid.

"Now, we aren't going to ask him anything _too_ personal, right?" Moony asks, sounding nervous.

I roll my eyes as Padfoot says, "You're such a killjoy, Moony, but no, we won't ask Snivelly anything _too _personal."

"We're still going to ask him how many times he washes his hair in a week though, aren't we?" Wormy asks, hopping from foot to foot in excitement.

I place a hand firmly on his shoulder and say, "Geez, Wormtail, would you stop hopping around like that? It's annoying."

"And of _course_ we're asking Snivellus how many times he washes his hair!" Sirius exclaims, looking at Wormy like he's suddenly gone barmy, "That's the number one question of everyone in the school!"

Remus's lips twitch into a smile, though his eyes remain hard, and he fixes us with a serious stare. "I'm a prefect, you know, I should probably take points or give you detention or something."

I laugh. "We all know you're not going to do that, Moony, especially seeing as you did most of the work making the potion."

"Yeah," Sirius snorts, "What are you going to do, give detention to yourself?"

Wormtail doubles over with laughter, gasping out, "Detention…to himself…that's a good one, Padfoot!"

Rolling my eyes, I almost wonder why we keep him around. But he _is _a nice kid, and he makes a pretty good lookout. Plus, he practically worships me, and how do you turn away someone who worships you?

Sirius cocks his head as he watches Wormy, making him look, ironically, like a dog, and he says, "Looks like Wormtail needs some sleep. I'm ready to hit the sack, too, I feel like I haven't slept all week—"

"Probably because you _haven't _slept all week," Moony states.

"—and we need to be up bright and early for breakfast tomorrow," he finishes with a wink.

Remus corks the vial of Veritaserum and places it in his pocket, which he's charmed to prevent the vial from breaking, and the four of us slide out from behind Sir Willoughby. We have a quick, silent fight over who gets to use the Invisibility Cloak, which ends with Remus and I under the cloak and a disheveled Sirius and Peter walking beside us, periodically checking the Marauder's Map to make sure there aren't any teachers around – or worse, Filch's cat, Lady Bertram.

We make it back to the Fat Lady portrait without incident, whisper, "Fugue in D minor" – she's going through a classical music appreciation phase – and stagger up to our dormitory, already half asleep. Moony places a charm over our beds that will cause water to drop on our heads if we're not up by seven, and then we flop onto our beds, succumbing to a deep sleep.

* * *

><p>I wake up to the sensation of cold water tumbling over my head. I leap up with an angry shout before remembering Remus's charm – and the reason behind the charm. <em>Snivellus,<em> I think with a smirk. Casting a quick drying charm on myself, I rub the sleep from my eyes and amble to the bathroom. Sirius and Remus are already there, and moments after hearing a shriek come from the dormitory, Peter joins us as well.

"You have the potion, Moony?" Padfoot asks through a mouthful of toothpaste, though it sounds more like, "Oo 'ave uh 'oshoon Oonie?"

Rolling his eyes, Moony nods and says, "Right here," as he pulls the vial from his robe pocket.

Wormtail looks as though the excitement might cause him to explode, but honestly, he looks how I feel. This prank will be talked about for years – and the look on Snivelly's face will be priceless. Padfoot and I have already started betting on the shade of red his face will turn. Padfoot says Gryffindor-common-room-couch-red, while I'm convinced he'll more closely resemble a tomato.

Soon, we're heading downstairs to the Great Hall. "Prongs, mate, check the map," Padfoot says, "Let's see if ol' Snivellus is down there yet."

I pull the map from my schoolbag, mutter, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," and watch as the map unfolds itself. Sure enough, Snape's name appears in the Great Hall, right next to Lily Evans. "Looks like he's sitting with Lily at the Gryffindor table today," I say cheerfully. Normally, a slimy Slytherin snake sitting among the Gryffindors would irritate me – especially if it were Snivellus, and especially if he were with Lily, the girl I've been practically in love with since third year. But today, it just made our job all the more easy.

Upon entering the Great Hall, we rush to the Gryffindor table and seat ourselves around Lily and Snivellus, pushing aside a few first-years in the process. Remus sits by Snape, since he's the one with the potion; plus, he's the friendliest with Snape out of the four of us – which is saying something, considering they're not exactly the best of friends either. Snivellus glares at us menacingly, and Lily's eyes narrow in suspicion, but I simply smile jovially back, causing the suspicious look in Lily's bright green eyes to intensify.

Remus catches my eye and nods. It's time.

He leans past Snape, pretending to reach for a piece of toast, but as his arm passes over Snivelly's goblet of pumpkin juice, he releases the cork on the vial of Veritaserum and tilts it so that a few drops fall into the murky orange liquid. We wait a few minutes, and then Sirius jabs me in the arm with his elbow and says loudly, "So, Snivelly, what colour underwear are you wearing today?"

"Gray," Snape replies, unable to stop the words from coming out of his mouth. Horrified, he clamps a hand over his mouth and his cheeks flush. Lily's eyebrows shoot up her forehead, and anyone close enough to hear the conversation sniggers.

I lean forward, resting my elbows on the table, and ask, "When was the last time you kissed a girl, Sniv?"

"Never," he replies, shooting daggers at me through his eyes as he becomes aware of what we've done.

Remus shoots me a warning glare, silently willing me not to move into that territory, but it's just too great an opportunity to pass up. "Pity," I sneer, my voice dripping with sarcasm, "Is there a girl you'd like to kiss?"

"N-ye-maybe," he stammers out, clearly struggling to fight the potion.

By now, most of the students at the Gryffindor table, and some at the Hufflepuff table behind us, are listening in, laughing at our back-and-forth questions and answers.

Lily, too, seems to have realized what we've done, and she's glaring at us murderously. I'm sort of relieved not to be sitting next to her, as I think she might strangle me if I were.

I'm about to ask the name of this unfortunate object of his affections, but before I can open my mouth, Peter, unable to contain his anticipation, blurts out, "How many times a week do you wash your hair?"

There's a massive roar of laughter at his question, and now the teachers are eyeing us suspiciously, trying to figure out what's causing such a commotion around the Gryffindor table.

"I-It depends," Snape snaps.

"It depends on what?" I ask, "Whether you want your hair to be just averagely greasy, or oily enough to fuel a lamp?"

There's another roar of laughter from the quickly assembling crowd. Professor McGonagall is rising from her place at the head of the Great Hall.

"Hey, how did your nose get to be so large, Snivykins?" Padfoot questions.

Snape's eyes dart back and forth, as if he's trying to figure out if he can push his way through the crowd of onlookers. "It's…genetic," he spits out, hatred burning deep within his eyes.

"From who, Mummy or Daddy?" I ask, stifling laughter.

"My father."

"Ah, now it makes sense…a face only a mother can love!" Sirius exclaims, eliciting the largest amount of laughter from the crowd yet.

Snape jumps to his feet, one hand clenched tightly at his side and the other pointing a wand at Sirius's face. I'm about to draw my wand as well, but before I have the chance, McGonagall is pushing her way through the crowd, shouting, "Put down that wand immediately, Mr. Snape!"

"Professor," Lily protests, "It wasn't his fault, he—"

"I don't want to hear excuses," McGonagall snaps, "There is no dueling allowed between two students under any circumstances, unless in a classroom setting." Turning her glare on Snape, she says, "Consider yourself lucky I arrived before you could cast a spell, Mr. Snape, or you would have lost much more than five points from Slytherin."

I catch Padfoot's eye and grin. Humiliating Snape in front of the majority of the student population_ and_ causing Slytherin to lose five points? I'd say it was a very successful morning for the Marauders indeed.

* * *

><p>"It wasn't fair that Snape lost points this morning," Remus says, looking distressed and very much guilty, as we sit around the common room later that day.<p>

"Oh, come on, Moony," Sirius whines, "It was hysterical, and you were brilliant! He had no idea you slipped anything into his drink until it was much too late!"

Being reminded of the large part he played in the prank causes the look of guilt on Remus's face to intensify doubly.

"I think we should tell Professor McGonagall what really happened this morning," he says, casting his gaze at the floor.

"Moony!" Padfoot, Wormy, and I exclaim at once, all of us staring at him like he had gone mad – which perhaps he had.

"Come on, Remus," I say, "Think about all the things he's done to us!"

"That's right!" Sirius agrees, "He tried to expose you as a werewolf!"

"Yeah, after you nearly got him killed," Remus snaps bitterly, glaring at Sirius. "And don't say that so loudly," he adds, dropping his voice to a whisper.

"What, you mean _werewolf_?" Sirius shouts, causing Remus to lean over and sock him on the arm.

"Hey!" Sirius yelps, rubbing his arm and shooting Remus a look of deep betrayal, "No one was going to know I meant you."

Shaking his head, Remus says, "Look, the point is I feel really badly about what we did to Snape, and I think we should tell McGonagall."

"But – we'll get in trouble," Peter protests.

"Look, Moony, it's not going to happen," I say, my voice expressing finality on the matter, "You can go apologize to him if you want to get hexed into next week, but that's your choice."

Remus sighs, leans back into his chair, and picks up some homework, clearly finished trying to admonish us for the night.

However, that doesn't exactly mean that we're safe.

The portrait hole slams shut and a fuming Lily Evans storms up the stairs into the common room. "You!" she bellows, reminding me strangely of a very angry female dragon, "You four! Did you think that was _funny_ what you did this morning?"

I know better than to respond truthfully to that statement, but Sirius – poor bloke – doesn't quite know when to keep quiet. "Well, now that you mention it, yeah, I did think—"

"You completely _humiliated_ him in front of the entire school! People were laughing at him _all day_!" she shouts, moving closer to Sirius as if she might hit him. Her face is turning nearly as red as her hair, and I briefly wonder if that could possibly be healthy. "What you did was _way _out of line, even for you! You know, sometimes I think you forget that he's a _person_, and he has _feelings_!

And _you_," she hisses through clenched teeth, her voice dangerously soft now as she rounds on Remus, "I know it was you who slipped the Veritaserum into his goblet, it must have been."

Remus lowers his gaze in shame.

"I'm disappointed in you," she says flatly, "I thought you were better than that." Turning back to face the rest of us, her eyes glittering dangerously, she says, "I almost went and told Professor McGonagall what really happened this morning, but then I decided against it. I want _you _four to do it yourselves."

Remus looks disgustingly satisfied. Sirius, Peter, and I open our mouths to protest, but Lily speaks before we can get a word in. "And if you don't, _I will know._ And I will get you back _twice _as badly." And on that note, she turns sharply on her heel and storms up to the girls' dormitories in a flurry of anger.

Sirius, looking a bit shell-shocked, says, "Geez, mate, I know you fancy her and all, but the girl is a psycho."

Peter, dumbfounded, nods in agreement.

"Psycho…perhaps," I say, "But she sure is beautiful when she's angry."

I ignore Sirius's mutter of, "Better ugly and happy than beautiful and angry."

"She's not a psycho," Remus says, "She was right. You _do _forget he has feelings sometimes, and I'm glad she's making us tell McGonagall."

"Goody-two-shoes," I mutter, but my insult is half-hearted. I wouldn't admit it out loud, but somewhere _very _deep down, I feel a twinge of remorse for what we had done to Severus Snape.


End file.
